by Marcia Hinds
For Ryan, we used our own modified version of ABA to teach him all the things he missed when he was too ill to learn. Children who have autism do not find the same things rewarding as typical children. It is not always easy to identify what is rewarding for a kid who has communication deficits. So to be effective,,,it was essential to discover what my child loved and use that to teach him.
To use what Ryan loved or obsessed about to teach him was the best advice I was ever given. Instead of trying to eliminate his obsessions, we used them to motivate and teach. For Ryan, that meant every lesson had to include one of the following: elevators, cars, computers, technology, sharks, electric plugs, or light switches. It was also important to remember all children love hugs and praise, even when they can’t yet show us that is true.
Since Ryan loved doing puzzles, we used that too. To build his vocabulary and speech we played a game called “What’s Missing?” I would three picture cards in front of him. Then I would point to each one and say its name. When I said “car”, he had to repeat the word “car” after I said it.
Next I would say… close your eyes. As Ryan put his hands over his eyes, I grabbed one of the picture cards and put it behind my back. Then I said, “Open your eyes” and asked, “What’s missing?” When Ryan correctly answered, he got a puzzle piece. When he had all the pieces to the puzzle, he would get to put it together.
We would often switch roles. Ryan got to be the teacher and play “What’s Missing” with me. Motivation and making it fun is key to teaching our kids. We used praise and hugs, even before Ryan could show us that he liked them.
I also used to make my son (who didn’t want to be touched) hug me. I told him, ” You have to hug me because I’m your mom and that’s your job!”
For the skills that were especially hard for my son to learn, we used primary reinforcers. When we first started teaching anything that required motor planning like catching a ball or riding a bike, Ryan was rewarded with a Skittle or French fry.
Unfortunately, any parent embarking on this 24/7 assignment won’t have much of a life until their child reaches a certain behavioral level. Frank and I didn’t regain any semblance of a social life until Ryan was in fifth grade. If I had known before that that Ryan would get better, I would have had no trouble keeping the 24/7 pace. But it was hard to give up everything for years when his future remained uncertain.
I also worried about the impact all of this would have on his sister. Ryan was needed to be the mission and focus. Now I know all the hard work was worth it, because my son is having a wonderful life. And Megan is one of the most caring people I have ever met, in part because of her brother’s autism.
NOTE FROM MARCIA HINDS – Ryan and mom:
Ryan began to learn and act more typical only after he received proper medical treatment combined with behavioral and educational interventions. To preview “I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE – Winning Our War Against Autism” go to Amazon or www.autismandtreatment.com.
ALONE there is little we can do about autism…
TOGETHER we will be unstoppable
